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P.C.Preaching by ~bristoltheorange:iconbristoltheorange:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Sociopolitical > Open


I just spent 30 minutes on a bus staring at a wall;
someone wrote in Japanese, English, French
“drift away.”
©2006-2009 ~bristoltheorange
:iconbristoltheorange:

Author's Comments

This is true.
(I editted out the last line after a few suggestions that it wasn't needed.)

Daily Deviation

Given 2007-08-14

P.C.Preaching by ~bristoltheorange is more than just a slice of life - it lays on your tongue for a while, asking if you might counter its flavor. (Suggested by `PinkyMcCoversong and Featured by ^StJoan)

Comments


love 1 1 joy 3 3 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconupsidedown-insideout:
~upsidedown-insideout Dec 13, 2006, 2:41:55 AM
I love that it's really short, showing how you got your point across really quickly. Okay, that sounds dumb but it's funny to think other people will come along and say 'it's too short it needs length' cause they simply don’t' like short poems. But it says all it needs too. AND I love the concept behind this made me think, smile and feel sad and just ‘stand there and stare’
This actually is one of my favourites, and I can't say anything else other than
'so true'
so excuse me eh short comment and lame answer, and use of dumb and lame!
LOVE it.

--
If it's just a game, then what are we crying for?
:iconbristoltheorange:
~bristoltheorange Dec 13, 2006, 1:32:58 PM
ha. thanks. i had more lines before but then i thought they really cluttered it and tried to superimpose meaning that wasn't there. it was strange though when i was staring at it, it seemed to get more distant if that makes sense.

--
painting sunlight on the side of houses since 1988
:iconupsidedown-insideout:
~upsidedown-insideout Dec 13, 2006, 2:38:18 PM
you're welcome.
It kinda makes sense, I'd have to think about it though :)

--
If it's just a game, then what are we crying for?
:iconshadowwalker1013:
~Shadowwalker1013 Dec 23, 2006, 3:41:32 PM
hahah I love it

--
Oppression, quiet and Repressed
Swept under the seams
the bed of the acquiesced
where we sleep, insomniac dreams
:iconbristoltheorange:
~bristoltheorange Dec 23, 2006, 5:00:35 PM
thanks

--
painting sunlight on the side of houses since 1988
:iconsporenza:
~Sporenza Dec 23, 2006, 5:06:20 PM
Oooh I was confused for a few seconds and then I got it. Nice, very nice and very witty.

--
Fin de siecle. Fin du globe.

!!soahc dna yhcrana
:iconbristoltheorange:
~bristoltheorange Dec 23, 2006, 5:15:03 PM
Sorry I'm a bit confusing, but it's entirely true. the words just stared at me the whole time and being that I live in Canada, there's this whole super P.C. thing going on.

--
painting sunlight on the side of houses since 1988
Hidden by Owner
:iconpinkymccoversong:
`PinkyMcCoversong Jan 31, 2007, 5:52:45 PM
this is a really cool piece. it's brevity is fantastic. i think that it would be further enhanced by taking out that last line - it summarizes exactly what the reader gets from the rest of the piece. basically, you don't need it.

--
< GunShyMartyr > PinkyMcCoversong: o hi asl plz
< PinkyMcCoversong > GunShyMartyr: ask again in a cockney accent
< GunShyMartyr > ELLO daaaahling, what's yah name then. giveus a kiss would ya love? yer eighteen roite?
:iconbristoltheorange:
~bristoltheorange Jan 31, 2007, 6:11:19 PM
hm that's an interesting point, but I think it wouldn't sound as bitter if I took it out.

--
painting sunlight on the side of houses since 1988
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